One of the most important, if not most important things you can do for your success in all areas of life is to master your "inner game." Your inner game directly controls your outer game.
But, what is the inner game? Your inner game is simply is the way you think. The way you think about yourself, life, success, business, relationships - everything. And everything begins with what you believe. I have developed an acronym for how the process of the inner game works in our lives. It is as follows: B->E->T->A->R Your Beliefs lead to your Emotions, you Emotions lead to your Thoughts, your Thoughts lead to your Actions, and your Actions lead to your Results. If you take out everything in the middle and look at the first and last work, you get Beliefs = Results. Most people don't know that much of what we believe was not chosen by us. It was put there through many years of conditioning. Think about it. You come out of the womb with a clean slate. It is the influences and experiences of your life that help to shape what you believe and ultimately how you think. These influences are things like parents, school, friends, media, culture, religion, etc. And much of what we pick up is good and helpful for our lives, but many of us pick up some adverse beliefs and thought patterns along the way as well. And these can hold us back from reaching out true potential - many times without us evening knowing it! Why? Because of the subconscious mind. It is the part of brain that operates without us even having to think about it. It is the most powerful part of our brain and runs us almost on autopilot. It has created responses, thought patterns, and reactions to just about every situation we encounter in life and every time one of these situations presents itself, it reacts - we react without even thinking consciously. This happens over and over again throughout each day. How much do you actually "think" to drive a car or answer a question? You don't, you just do it. This is the subconscious conditioning, your inner game at work. Once you realize this, your next question is probably, "What can I do to create the automatic responses I want to have? " That is THE question. And the answer is simpler than you would think. You can change your conditioning by changing your thoughts - your beliefs. Now, I did not say it was easy and did not involve a lot or work - in reality it is work you will do the rest of the your life. But, the secret is to start recognizing your automatic reactions and start choosing if you want to keep them or change them. For example, if you are someone who has a short temper, you can recognize when your emotions are welling up. You know when that feeling of anger or frustration is bubbling up inside you. The next time it happens, just stop, ask, and choose. Stop before you react. Ask yourself if the reaction you are having is the one you want to have. Then choose how you will move forward and change the internal belief you have about being angry in that situation. Admittedly, this is very awkward at first, but once you've done it a number of times, it get easier and more automatic. Learning to live from true choice of the beliefs that you want to have will free you and give you better control over you emotions ultimately leading to better results in your life - the results you choose to have. There a couple more important things to understand about this process. The first is that it doesn't work if you see yourself as perpetual victim. You must be willing to take responsibility for your life and choices. Doing this also gives you control over your life. Second, and this wisdom has been passed down through generations, it's even in the Bible. What your believe becomes your reality. In the Bible, it is stated, "That which you gaze upon, you become." You can understand this. What you focus on, expands in your life and in your subconscious automatic responses. If you are are always focused on the negative, guess what, you will attract and subconsciously bring more negativity into your life and train your subconscious to look for it. Conversely, if you are focused on growing yourself and working toward your goals, your subconscious will drive you there. Lastly, back to choice and choosing things. You get to choose your attitude every day. Your attitude is how you approach the world. If you don't choose it, your subconscious will revert to whatever default programming it has created your entire life. Each day, wake up and spend 2 minutes deciding your attitude and who you will be in the world that day. Set your intentions. Train your subconscious that you are in control and set the tone of your inner game. If you can learn to change your beliefs, focus on the right things in your life and choose your attitude and how you react to the situations of life, you will find that you can change your whole world and maybe THE world. So, get going and choose your way forward!
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Good things come to those who wait. But, who has time to wait anymore? I say that as a joke, but it's true right? More and more, it seems that we have very little to no patience. We have been conditioned to expect instant results and most of the time we get them. So, I can't blame people for having little patience these days.
With that said, patience is a lost art in today's world - but those that come back to it an practice it reap great benefits. For example, I recently wrote an article about questioning a business growth strategy that had worked for a long time, but had recently faltered. The article was about how the strategy had worked for years and had issues over the course of about 6 weeks or so and I found myself wondering if I should abandon it. After some diligence and stepping back, I realized that the market for the strategy had acted out of character and now it has come back in line. I had the patience to stay with the strategy and now it is beginning to pay off again. I literally was worried about a 6-week blip out of many years of success! But that is what we have been conditioned to do. If something doesn't work, many times right away, we abandon it. We can't wait for a browser to load slowly for the for the microwave to finish. But, if we can have patience and perspective and are willing to play the long game, we will be much more successful. I've seen this time and time again with guests on the Misfit Entrepreneur - those that play the long game win. In fact, many times they didn't have the best business or solution, they just outlasted everyone else to become the one on top. Keep this lesson in mind next time you find yourself losing patience - especially with something proven to be successful. Give it the patience and time it's due and commit to playing the long game and it will pay off for you! As we go through life, we will have a lot of conversations. Many of them meaningful and many of them meaningless in the grand scheme of things. And there will be times we must have hard conversations whether in business or our personal lives. A hard conversation is the one you don't want to have because you know it may challenge you or the other person(s). It may also be unpleasant or in some ways confrontational. No matter what, these conversations will happen one way or another and it is best to be ready for them. Here are 3 pieces of advice for when you must have a hard conversation.
1.) Prepare, Prepare, Prepare Do not have a hard conversation on a whim. Take the time to prepare and make sure you understand both yours and the other person's point of view. Make sure to understand that emotions drive people and you must understand the potential emotional toll on both you and the other person the conversation can have. You must come from a place of solid ground and truth/fact and build from there. The only way to do this is to prepare. 2.) Check Your Emotions Even with preparation, a hard conversation can give way to emotional responses, opinions, and perceptions that are not rooted in truth or fact. Feelings are not facts or truth, but they do matter and drive people's responses. You must make sure to control your emotions and stay grounded in the truth and fact, not getting into a battle over opinions or emotions because this leads to poor outcomes for both parties. 3.) Give a Little No one is ever 100% right or wrong and no one is perfect. Resist the urge to have to win absolutely on your side and be mature enough cede own up to things you are responsible for in the relationship that you can do or be better at. Be willing to give a little to the other person as neither of you are 100% perfect. Admit it and own your side and ask them to own theirs. Then go to work together to make things better. Hard conversations are am opportunity to learn and get better in the end - as long as you are willing to do so. And you should be willing to do so. Use them as such and don't be afraid of them, but don't take them lightly. Prepare, check your emotions, and be willing to give in and admit where you fall short. Then get better. Entrepreneurs are always looking for ways to do more with less. Whether you are a seasoned veteran with a successful business or a new startup, you are always going to be looking for ways to grow. Some ways of growing are worth the expense. For example, hiring a great sales person. But, there are other ways to grow that can help you succeed in big ways that don't cost anything. Here are 3 of them.
1.) Partnerships/Joint Ventures One of the easiest ways to grow is to create a partnership or joint venture with another company or entity that has complimentary products or services. You can then bundle your services with theirs an they with yours to create an even more compelling offer. Additionally, you can do a revenue share together when you bring them opportunities and they can do the same with you. You also get access to now sell to their customers and they get access to yours. It costs nothing to do this other than a little time and ingenuity. 2.) Affiliates If you have a product that people people can buy online or without interacting with a sales team on your side, an affiliate program may be a good way to go. You can pay commission to those that bring sales to your door. This works great with influencers, brand ambassadors, and those with big networks looking to monetize them. All this takes is creating an affiliate page for people to sign up and coming up with a commission structure. You can use Paypal to start as a way to pay commissions and then go seek out influencers and those that would be a good fit with a good audience for your product or service and invite them to be an affiliate. 3.) Current Customers This last should come as no surprise. One of the best places to get new business and grow is by getting referrals from your current clients. If you take good care of your clients, all you really have to do is ask them. But, you may consider putting in place referral program where they receive an incentive of some kind for referring you if it makes sense for your business. Again, this costs nothing except taking good care of your clients and some sweat equity. So, there you go. 3 ways to grow your business whether you are seasoned or start up that cost nothing other than time, a little work, and ingenuity. Read the above stats very carefully. Maybe read it a couple of times to let it sink in.
80% of the sales are made on the 5TH TO 12TH CONTACT. How many times do you or your sales people follow up with prospects to close business? It if is not at least 5 times, then you are missing out on sales. Why do l2% of salespeople follow up 3 times or less? I think it is because most salespeople don't want to be seen as "bugging" anyone or being "pushy." We can all understand this and don't like it when salespeople are over-aggressive with us. The key to managing this is to find a balance between what I call being Professionally Persistent and over-aggressive. Usually, the reason salespeople become over-aggressive is because they become desperate to make a sale or hit their numbers and go after what they think is the most likely sale. This desperation shows and as such, they are not professional and come off as abrasive, annoying, and in some instances mean to the client. Conversely, being Professionally Persistent is the opposite. It comes from confidence, patience, and an understanding that the process has to play out. It is being consistent, courteously following up, and maintaining visibility with the prospect until they are ready to make a decision. Being Professionally Persistent requires maturity and the ability to manage emotional responses. It also takes the ability to remain calm and professional under pressure and the fortitude to stick with things over time. It also requires and attention to detail. Developing the habit of becoming Professionally Persistent takes work and time, but it literally pays to do so. Make it a priority today! Les Brown is one of my favorite speakers. He delivery of great wisdom is un-matched. I urge you to listen to this message from Les on success and why you've "gotta be hungry" in your life and how you can truly level up. Enjoy!
There is a lot that comes at us in life and business. We seem to have problems and things impacting us from all angles. Many times, we ALLOW these things to affect us and we waste a lot of time and energy on them without getting a resolution. We spend our precious thoughts and time worrying about these things.
There is a principle from a wise Stoic that gave a great approach to living a good life. His name was Epictetus. Born a slave in 55 AD, he was granted freedom due to his superior intellect and became a mentor to noblemen and emperors. His most important work was in The Discourses which influenced many leaders to come, including Marcus Aurelius. He boiled things down to a fundamental rule and truth which says, "There are certain things you can control and certain things you can’t control, and you must know the difference." A lot of people have written about this over the years and expanded greatly on it and Epictetus' writings. Years ago, I was introduce to his principles and the 3 C's. I cannot take credit for the 3C's although I did adapt them and change them a little over the years. Here are my 3C's to handling the problems of life and living better.
Think about those for a second and how true they are. I love the simplicity of them. There are things we can control in our lives and things we cannot. Why waste time on things you have no control over? Focus on what you can control and do it well. For those things we cannot control, we can recognize them and their impact or potential impact on us, and cope with them. Not dwell on them. Simply cope with the fact they exist and there is nothing we can do about them and move on to the things we can control and impact. Lastly, concentrate on what counts and matters. We cannot be distracted or derailed by the things we cannot control or have no sway over. Instead, we must ask ourselves what really matters and what makes the most difference that is in our control and concentrate out efforts there. If you follow the 3C's, you will find that you will have less stress, be more productive, and ultimately live a better life. Start putting them into action today! The pace of business today is fast. There is no way around it. Things move at a blistering pace and entrepreneurs need to be able to move fast, react quickly, and seize opportunity.
This also lends to multi-tasking and moving quickly from one thing to the next. I am as guilty of this as anyone. But when people depend on you to not only be fast, but to be right, it is important to make sure you don't move too fast. What do I mean? You have to move fast in today's world, but you also need to keep your attention to detail and make sure that your work and what you are delivering is solid and good. Moving too fast can lead to sloppiness, especially when multi-tasking. This happens because our mind gets stretched across all of the things we are moving through and doing. We tend to move too fast and forget critical, important items or miss details that are important. This hurts us down the line. So, how do we combat this? First, we must understand that we need to move fast, but recognize when we are moving too fast and slow ourselves. Second, we have to be careful not to multi-task, or at least focus on no more than 2 things at a time. And when we are doing a task, we need to be present and focused and not be thinking about the other tasks or items we need to do next. One trick I've learned to center myself during these fast paced periods of work and day to day needs, is to just stop and take a deep breath. Then take a moment just to think through the task and how to deliver the best outcome. After doing that, block out distractions for just a few minutes and concentrate on what it is you need to do. This little 30 second exercise will help you to still be efficient, but better focused, and give you the ability to achieve better results in your work. Try it today! I was on a call the other day with a large client. It was a big group of people discussing solutions for the future for the client. I know for many that selling and servicing clients via Zoom or virtually is newer to them during these times, but over a decade ago, I took my companies virtual and have been selling and servicing clients that way for a long time.
During the meeting, as the client spoke and talked about the future and their needs, I immediately could "sense" the way the meeting should go and how we could further help them. While others on the call were asking questions that really repeated what the client had just said, I listened and felt the client's needs and the beginning or their frustration as they repeated some things. Working virtually is hard, even if you can see people. It is not the same as sitting across the table. And, if people are just on audio, it is even harder. This is why you have to hone your skills in how you actively listen to voice inflection, tone, things like a sigh here or there, even a deep breath. After a couple of minutes of back and forth with the group, I spoke up and simply and clearly articulated what I thought, based on their feedback was the best solution. And I brought in other people on the call, that hadn't seem to get what they client was saying yet, and helped them to understand how their skill and what they do could help accomplish the goal for the client. After another 10 mins of discussion and having some fun thinking about bigger possibilities, everyone was on the same page and excited about what we could do together, One of the most important skillsets anyone can develop, for business and life, is the ability to "sense" others in the moment. This means sensing their feelings, quickly understanding voice tone and inflection, body language - and then being able to empathize where needed and find understanding. I wish I could say there was a magic formula on how to do this, but it really comes from experience. To get good, you have to actively listen and be on high alert to sense the different ways of communication and then figure out find the "sweet spot" in which all parties can succeed. As you do this more and more, you will be able to almost intuit what is needed and work across multiple parties simultaneously to reach the best outcome. Learning to "sense" others and in business, "sense the customer" may be the most important skillset you can build and foster in your company. Every Sunday, I have a routine. It's a simple routine that I have done for over 15 years and it has probably been one of the biggest factors in maximizing my productivity. The routine takes 15 mins to do and can change everything for you.
The first thing I do, is take 5 minutes to clear email out from the previous week. I go through and clear anything that has already been worked on or delegated. I keep a post it for notes and make any notes actions or items I need to do from clearing the email or anything that is left. Next, I go through my calendar for the last two weeks and look at all my meetings. I do this to make sure there isn't any follow up or actions needed that I may have missed. I write anything down on the post it note. Once I've done this, I take out a sheet of paper and open my calendar for the coming week. I create 5 columns across the sheet of paper (one for each day of the week). I then go by day and write down all of the things I have to do for that day and what time any meetings are. I write down everything I am going to do, even things like "working out" or "mediate for 10 mins." Literally, everything I will do for that day. I look at the post it note of items that I've jotted down that need action and I add them in to the days that make the most sense to action them. For example, if something is more urgent , then it goes to Monday or Tuesday, something less urgent, later in the week. Once I am done, I have my week planned with all the action item I need to take each day. I then simply wake up each day and get to work. I then look at it at the end of each day and do any planning for tomorrow. If I finish everything for a particular day and have more time, I can work on anything for the next day and so on. Taking just 15 minutes to do this plan each week has increased my productivity to levels I never thought possible and allows to get everything done across all my businesses in a normal work week. Try and see the difference it makes for you! |
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