Advice for Having "Hard" Conversations

As we go through life, we will have a lot of conversations.  Many of them meaningful and many of them meaningless in the grand scheme of things.  And there will be times we must have hard conversations whether in business or our personal lives.  A hard conversation is the one you don't want to have because you know it may challenge you or the other person(s).  It may also be unpleasant or in some ways confrontational.  No matter what, these conversations will happen one way or another and it is best to be ready for them.  Here are 3 pieces of advice for when you must have a hard conversation.

1.)  Prepare, Prepare, Prepare

Do not have a hard conversation on a whim.  Take the time to prepare and make sure you understand both yours and the other person's point of view.  Make sure to understand that emotions drive people and you must understand the potential emotional toll on both you and the other person the conversation can have.  You must come from a place of solid ground and truth/fact and build from there.  The only way to do this is to prepare.

2.)  Check Your Emotions

Even with preparation, a hard conversation can give way to emotional responses, opinions, and perceptions that are not rooted in truth or fact.  Feelings are not facts or truth, but they do matter and drive people's responses.  You must make sure to control your emotions and stay grounded in the truth and fact, not getting into a battle over opinions or emotions because this leads to poor outcomes for both parties.

3.)  Give a Little

No one is ever 100% right or wrong and no one is perfect.  Resist the urge to have to win absolutely on your side and be mature enough cede own up to things you are responsible for in the relationship that you can do or be better at.  Be willing to give a little to the other person as neither of you are 100% perfect.  Admit it and own your side and ask them to own theirs.  Then go to work together to make things better.

Hard conversations are am opportunity to learn and get better in the end - as long as you are willing to do so.  And you should be willing to do so.  Use them as such and don't be afraid of them, but don't take them lightly.  Prepare, check your emotions, and be willing to give in and admit where you fall short.  Then get better.