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Misery Loves Company, but Company Hates Misery...

8/16/2017

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Everyone has a person (or persons) in their life that are just never happy.  They look for the bad in everything. Their first reaction is always to focus on any negative aspect.  

I call these people "Life's Eeyores."

If you are not familiar with Eeyore, he is a character in the long running cartoon series, Winnie the Pooh. He is always down and sad and always puts a damper on things.  We have people in our lives like this as well. They are not fun to be around and drive us crazy with their negative attitudes.  As they say "misery loves company."  But I think we all can agree that most company hates to hang around in misery.  

The easiest way to deal with this is not to spend time with these people in our lives.  Why give them the power to bring you down or cause anxiety in your life?  There is no reason.  I know this sounds harsh, but if you have people like this in your life, you need to remove them or find new friends to spend time with
-ones that lift you up and are excited about life and the possibilities it contains.

But what do you do if the Eeyore in your life is a close loved one or someone you cannot remove?  This is tough.  First, you must be strong and not succumb to their negativity.  Remember, you control your attitude and the way you think about things, so it is your choice to be happy or not.  It is harder when you have someone constantly bringing you down by just being around them, but you can remain positive nonetheless.  Resolve to do so.  Second, understand you cannot change them - at least not entirely.  You can, however, continue to show them the good side of things and be the positive light in their lives (they need one, they just won't admit it).  If you remain strong and true to your core, you will eventually have an impact on them and things will get better.  Lastly, be sure to give yourself breaks.  Even though it might be a loved one, you need to give yourself breaks from their negativity from time to time to recharge yourself. It is OK to be selfish and take time for yourself.

What do you do if YOU are the Eeyore?

Some of you reading this may be saying to yourself internally that the person I am describing is you. Nothing ever works as planned or goes your way.  It seems like bad things always happen to you.  People just don't understand.  "Dave, you don't understand."  

Well, actually I do.  Unless your negativity is being driven by some kind of traumatic event or diagnosed mental challenge.  If that is the case, feel free to read what I am about to say, but please, please make sure you are getting the help you need to overcome your challenge.

For those that are just going about life in a perpetual state of "woe is me" or "nothing ever goes my way,"  
I want to ask you some questions.  Do you feel like you are in control of your life?  Do you feel like you have power over yourself or anything?  Do feel as though you are a victim of circumstance?  Notice the same word appears in all those questions and that word is "feel."  The thoughts you have, the decisions you make, and the attitude you have is derived from the way you feel and what you believe about yourself and life.

Here is one of the most important things to understand for changing anything and for succeeding in life. 

Your beliefs lead to your thoughts.  You thoughts lead to your feelings.  Your feelings lead to you acting.  And your actions determine your results.  

You are what you believe.  If you believe you are a victim, you will be one - even when you are not.  If you belief that nothing ever goes right for you, the guess what, it won't.  And it sucks to be caught in that trap because you don't seem to have any control.  You have ceded it away because you are not controlling your beliefs.  

Once you learn that you can control your beliefs and thoughts, then you can control every aspect of your life.  You can control the way you feel.  Your attitude.  How you respond to things.  And you can choose to not live in negativity.  You can choose to be the Tigger instead of the Eeyore. (Tigger is the upbeat, positive, and fun Tiger in Winnie the Pooh).

For just one day, do this.  Choose the thoughts you have.  When you start to say "nothing is going right." Stop yourself and say, "Everything is good.  Life is good.  I'm lucky to be where I am and enjoying this day." You will be amazed at what happens and how you "feel."  You will change your state and can change the whole way you approach your world.  

Remember the self-fulfilling prophecy that states what you believe and focus on in your life will become your reality.  Make the choice to change you reality.  Start with just one day and go from there.  Take back your personal power and reach the potential you were created for!


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