After many years of studying the mind, how it works, our conditioning, and how we become who we are, I can say one thing for certain - I cannot make you a happy person.
It's simply not possible for someone else to make you a happy person. Oh, someone might be able to make you happy for a short time or in a moment, but true happiness, lasting happiness must be found within.
It is up to you to decide whether you are happy or not.
There are a number of things that affect our ability to be and remain happy. And they are all within our control. Everything from our mindset, to how we react to the things that happen to us, to what we tell ourselves is all in our control.
Let's start with what we tell ourselves. What we say to ourselves and about ourselves both internally and externally has a profound impact on us. Literally, what we think about ourselves becomes our reality.
If you believe you are not worthy of things in life like success or not worthy of being happy or say things like "I'm not good enough..." or "I suck" or "Nothing ever goes right for me..." guess what is going to happen in your life. Exactly that. This happens because our beliefs are what manifest in our lives. If you believe in your mind that "Nothing ever goes right for me," then your mind will make sure things do not go right and look for everything that happens or can happen to back that up. Always remember that what you tell yourself becomes reality. And you have control of what you believe and tell yourself. It is your choice. So, if you want to be happier or find lasting happiness, start by believing and speaking truth to power in your life.
The next thing we have control over is the way we react to the events that happen in our lives. No matter what happens, we have the ability to control how we react to it and choose to perceive it the way we want. The trick is actually stopping ourselves from just reacting and making the choice. When something does not go your way or goes against you, you can choose to allow it to make you unhappy and ruin aspects of your life, or you can choose not to let it do so. You can even choose to perceive it as a great opportunity to better yourself, learn, and grow. It is up to you, but how you deal with the challenges that come your way affects your happiness, and you have the power to choose how you respond to them.
Lastly, my personal belief is that the things that happen to us actually happen FOR us. Everything we go through gives us an opportunity to grow as an individual and become a better version of ourselves. Even the things that seem and feel absolutely terrible when we go through them help us to become stronger, give us an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and our capacity to endure, and bring about meaningful changes, if we look for them. Tragedies give us this opportunity as well. It is how we respond to tragedy that defines how we move on from it. Make no mistake, the hardest thing to do is find happiness and gratitude in the darkest of times, but it is there if you want to find it.
Regret is a terrible thing and waste of your mind and emotions. Everything that has had to happen to get you where you are right now had to happen exactly as it did. In fact, the chances of you even being alive at this moment in time are so infinitely small; it is almost impossible to even fathom the number. And for you to have life at this moment in time, means that trillions of people that could have been, are not. Instead, you are here in their place. Cherish it. Make the most of it. Let go of regret and embrace the incredible opportunity you have to choose to be happy - and then make it so. The world will be brighter for you having done so.
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