I am going to make a guess that you don't have everything you want. Maybe you don't have the success you think you should have. Maybe you don't have the relationships you think you should have. Maybe you don't have the money you think you should have or the health or body you want.
Why not? Why is it that people want so much, but get very little of it?
There are two reasons. First, most people don't get what they want because they actually don't know what they want. They think they do, but when it comes down to it, they don't know. Think about the things you "think" you want. Are they true? Are those really the things you want? Or when you think hard about it, do you find you actually want something different.
I won't say that you will ever be crystal clear on all that you want. But, you should take the time to do some deep thinking about it and challenge yourself to make sure.
Second, and more important, is that most people don't get what they want because they simply are not willing to do what it takes to get it. And that also goes to the first point in that most people don't know what they want. Think about it. If you truly and deeply want something, you will move heaven and earth to get it. You will do whatever it takes. You will work around the clock. You will keep going through the setbacks that get in your way. You will not stop until you reached your goal.
If you are not getting something you say you want, it is probably because you really don't want it that bad. It is not as important as you make it out to be. That is OK. Understanding this helps us to fully understand the things we do want and to re-prioritize and go after them. Use the 80/20 rule. Out of all the things you think you want, most likely 20% or less of them are the real ones - the ones you will stop at nothing to get. Go after those. Make them a reality. Simplify, Execute. Succeed.
Now go get what you want.
Earlier in November, we lost a legend and one of the greatest "Misfit Entrepreneurs" of the last century in Stan Lee. If you know anything about Stan's story, he started working in comics as teenager in the family business. It took him a long time to get success and when he did, he had issues with lawsuits that caused him to file for bankruptcy in some of his companies. It was later in life that he really finally had success financially.
His biggest success to me was the fact that he was married for 70 years to his wife and that he inspired generations to go after the impossible and make it reality. The characters he created were just like you and me. In most cases, average people that found their gift and used it for good or to change the world. You have that ability as well.
To honor Stan, I pulled 5 of his most memorable and useful quotes to inspire you...
My wife sent me this video the other day and I was amazed at the m incredibly important life-lessons is gives in less than 2 minutes. Watch it and you'll see what I mean.
Here are 3 lessons I took from this powerful video...
I originally wrote this article originally for Influencive. You can view it here
Billionaire Warren Buffett once told a class of Columbia University students, “Right now, I would pay $100,000 for 10% of the future earnings of any you, so if you’re interested, see me after class.” After the laughter quieted down, he said, “Now, you can improve your value by 50% just by learning ONE thing – communication skills, specifically Public Speaking. If that is the case, see me after class and I’ll pay you $150,000.”
We have all been told about the importance of public speaking and how it can impact our business, career, success, and our income. Make no mistake: this is one of the most important skills you can develop. But, where do we start? How do we learn the critical skills to deliver a great speech?
I’ve always made a practice of accelerating my learning by seeking out the best in their fields and either partnering or convincing them to coach and train me. When I want to accelerate my ability in presenting and speaking, I turn to one person, Thom Singer. Thom is one of America’s top speakers and MCs. He is a CSP that has delivered over 800 speeches in his career, written 12 books on the subjects of speaking, entrepreneurship, and success, and has interviewed over 350 CEOs and business leaders on his podcast, “Cool Things Entrepreneurs Do.” When I decided to write an article on how to crush your next speaking appearance, I reached out to Thom and asked him, “What are the critical elements of a great speech? Is there a secret formula?”
Here is what he said…
There are five things that make a great speech: relevance to the audience, a highly prepared speaker, the connection the speaker makes to the participants, the stories told, and actionable content.
What Makes a Speaker Relevant?
Not every speaker is the right fit for every audience. Too often, meetings are looking to “fill slots”, but great events have presentations that are tailored to the needs of each audience. This means that the speaker not only needs to have content, but they must make that content matter. For too long, we have been told that “Content is King”, but just because someone is smart does not make them a great speaker. Instead, it is about context. How the speaker takes their content and creates a bridge to the needs of the people listening is what matters. If you hear a speaker at a convention of plumbers and then at a conference of lawyers and they do not change any part of their talk, they are not really being relevant. The content alone can be the same, but the context must be customized for every audience.
Can a Subject Matter Expert Wing It?
Or Do Speakers Prepare for Each Talk?Anyone who says they can “wing it” is going to come up short. No great speaker ever wings their presentations. Great presentations have a lot of preparation. People mistakenly think that TED and TEDx talks are great because they are short. The reality is the best TED and TEDx talks were written, re-written, and rehearsed. I put in 40 hours when I did a TEDx Talk, and each time I speak for an association or company I easily put in 4-8 hours of customized planning. Preparation is the foundation of a memorable speech.
What Is It That Makes Some Speakers Connect More With Audiences?
The personality of the speaker matters. Not just on stage, but before and after the talk when they are mingling with the audience, how they engage with people does matter. When I say personality, I am not referring to them being “bubbly” or “outgoing”; many more reserved people make great speakers. It is hard to describe the X Factor, but the speakers who have that little extra spark will connect. A lot of it has to do with their motivation. Being a speaker involves some level of ego, but the ones that deeply connect with a whole audience keep their ego in check and are there to serve others.
Why Do Stories Matter?
Humans are wired to remember stories. If you go back thousands of years, we learned via elders telling stories. Studies have shown we remember a story longer than we remember a fact or figure. But in our world of big data, too many people love to pepper their speech with graphs and charts. But data without a story will be quickly forgotten. I recently was getting on an airplane, and another passenger asked me if I was the speaker who presented at an insurance industry event several years earlier. When I said “yes,” he told me he always remembers the story I told about my daughter, Kate. Even after many years, he even remembered her name. Finding the right stories for a speech is not hard, but it must be intentional, and the story must have a purpose in supporting the overall message. But the right story can forever anchor that speaker in the minds of the audience.
What Separates a Powerful Speaker From Just Entertainment?
Getting people to take action is the difference between a powerful talk and an entertaining speech. While some people roll their eyes at the idea of “Motivational Speakers” (remember, Chris Farley on Saturday Night Live painted motivational speakers as frauds who lived in vans down by the river), the truth is all speakers should approach their talks as motivational. What is the opposite of motivation? De-motivating. Too many speakers do just that. They bore people with their brilliance and do nothing to get them to want to act. If a speaker is going to do more than fill a slot in the agenda, they must know their purpose in getting people to take action. When people are moved to do something new or different, you are impacting their future.
So, there you have it, 5 powerful secrets to crush your next speaking appearance from Thom Singer. Now, it’s your turn to “take action” and use them to make a difference.
This isn't an article about failing and failing forward. Much of what you hear about how to get out of your comfort zone these days is around seeking failure, pushing yourself in ways that you haven't before, and learning from the mistakes you make. Those are all helpful in getting out of your comfort zone, but there is something more important. It starts before you do any of that.
Whether you realize it or not, you are comfortable in your life. I can say this because most people haven't taken the time to "kick their own ass" in while. When is the last time you sat back and critiqued yourself and your performance? I'm not talking about getting down on yourself. Heaven knows the majority of people do way to much of that unnecessarily and inflict negative pain on themselves.
Instead, what I am talking about is positive pain. I'm talking about stepping back, asking if you are truly pushing things to edge of your potential, and whipping your butt back into shape in this area. The reason pushing yourself to fail and the traditional "get out of your comfort zone" advice doesn't work for a lot of people is because they haven't made the choice within to truly get out of their comfort zone in the first place. They haven't made the choice to embrace and endure the positive pain they need to go through to really break free.
Just about everything you want in your life is outside your current comfort zone. But, instead of continuously talking about it or lamenting about it - make the choice.
For example, maybe you are currently working 8 hours a week on the side on your dream and you know it's not enough to get you there, but "that's all the time I have..." B.S. If you know you need to be working 20 hours a week to make it happen, do it. Make the choice. Embrace the pain. If you are used to sleeping 8 hours a day, you may have to start going on 6. If you are used to living a certain lifestyle, you may have to sacrifice it in the short term, for an even better lifestyle long term.
It all comes down to choice. Either you really want it or your don't. Most people say they want things when they really don't because they aren't willing to do what it takes to get them. In reality, the things they want are not worthy of what it will take to get them. And that is OK. Get those things off your mind and ask yourself what is really worthy of what it will take. Then focus intently, almost obsessively on going after them. Make the choice - not excuses, embrace the positive pain and changes you will have to make for things to happen, and then act. Go. Now.
With the end of the year coming up, it's a great time to get in some solid personal growth to start the new year. Throughout the course of the year, I endeavor to read at least 2 new books per month.
Every book is typically very good and thought-provoking, but once in a while, some books really stand above the rest.
Here are 3 of the most outstanding books I've found in 2018 that you should consider reading prior to 2019 to help you with your personal growth.
Wealth For All by Idowu Koyenikan
I found this obscure book by chance. I was looking for a quote for one of the Misfit Minute newsletters and came across a wonderful quote from Idowu. I had never heard of him, so I looked him up and saw his book. It was a short read with some great topics, so I picked it up. I was surprised to find it as insightful and refreshing as it is. Many of the topics covered in it are ones you've heard before, but Idowu has a way to cut through the noise and go straight to the point and the action you need to do to really make these principles work in your life. Idowu delivers in 3 pages what many authors take 25 to do.
Redefine Impossible by James Lawrence aka The Iron Cowboy
This is a book about the potential of us as human beings and how far we truly can push ourselves. Maybe it is because I am an endurance athlete and Ironman participant, but this book really made me think about the limits we place on ourselves and how to lift them. James completed 50 full Ironman races in 50 days in 50 states - in a row. That is not a typo. Each day, James got up, swam 2.4 miles, biked 112, and ran a marathon for 50 days straight. There are so many lessons this book teaches about life and business that, endurance athlete or not, you can take and use. And, it is an awesome story as well.
Non-Business Book: Killing the SS by Bill O'reilly and Martin Dugard
In your personal growth routine, you should always mix in some non-business related material. For me, that is studying history. I absolutely love history and am amazed at how little of it is taught in our schools. Most people have no clue of the history of even their own country, let alone the world. And there is gold there. So much to learn about where we have been and where are going - and how history does truly repeat itself. Killing the SS is the story of hunting down the most vial and despicable Nazi leaders that escaped after WWII. It is shocking who helped them escape and what it took to bring many of them to justice. This book is a riveting story from start to finish that I read in about 2 days. It is chilling and shocking what we don't know about this era in history. And there are a lot of lessons we can take from it.
There are a lot of things needed to make someone successful. Focus, determination, great habits, maximizing opportunities, never giving up, and so on.
But, there is one thing that people miss or don't deliberately focus on that makes a major difference in their ability to succeed. In fact, it is the reason that so many people settle for mediocrity in their lives.
The one thing?
Creating high standards for themselves.
When was the last time you sat down and asked yourself, "What are my standards?" "What are my standards for my life? My business? My relationships?"
Whether you realize it or not, you are living up to some standard. And the thing is, with the way our minds work, whatever that set of standards may be is the limitations your mind has set on itself.
For example, if you're standard for a making a lot of money is $100k; you're probably making that much or less - but not more.
You were meant to live and function at the edge of your ability, not just using a small percentage of it.
If you want to up your game, up your standards. If you want to be more, do more, give more, and live at a higher level - create the standards that hold you accountable to do so.
Do it. Today. Create one new standard to hold yourself to and see what happens. You'll be amazed at what it does for your life and success.
Do you know what the best day of your entrepreneurial career will be? Have you ever given it any thought? What are you really striving for as an entrepreneur? What is an entrepreneur anyway?
I know those questions sound a little suspect, but when it the last time you thought about anything along those lines? Let alone what the best day of your entrepreneur career will be.
First, let's talk about what an entrepreneur really is. An true entrepreneur creates a business and builds systems. They do not "create a job" for themselves. That does not mean they can't be a solo operation, but it does mean they understand leverage and how to use it.
So, what is the best day of an entrepreneur's career?
The best day of an entrepreneur's career is when they have reached the point where they are not needed by the business any longer. Huh? Yes, the best day for an entrepreneur is when the systems they have created and the resources they have put in place can continue to function and scale without them and the business is no longer dependent on them for anything. This should be your goal - to make yourself obsolete in your business.
If you can do this, it not only allows you to grow yourself as an entrepreneur by giving you the ability to start and grow new businesses to have in your portfolio, but also allows you to have the true freedom that drove you to become an entrepreneur in the first place.
Ask yourself - what do I need to do to make myself not needed in my business? What systems and resources to do I need to put in place? What tasks do I do daily that I need to either outsource or delegate? Who do I need to find to help me in taking over running the business? Take a look at all areas of your business and get a good understanding of everything you need to do to replace yourself. Then get going and you'll be on your way to reaching the best day in your entrepreneur career!
If you are someone who sometimes has trouble finding the motivation to get out of bed or hits the snooze button a few times in the morning only to find yourself then getting up late, and missing out on the opportunity time - here's a few hacks for you. This will be a short read, but give you some powerful things you can to do get yourself going in the morning.
1.) Give Yourself a Meaningful Incentive
What motivates you? What would make you want to get out of bed, say, 1 hour earlier each day? How can you reward yourself besides the unbelievable additional productivity you will get by getting up earlier or on time? You answers to these questions will help reveal your "meaningful incentive." You need something to anchor to....something that can really drive you. Maybe you truly want to get healthier and by getting up earlier or on time, you will have the time for the exercise you keep putting off. Or maybe, it will allow you to eat a healthy breakfast instead of a "grab and go." Give yourself a reward on top of it for making things happen, but first find your meaningful incentive and anchor it in your mind.
2.) Force Yourself to Get Up Using Your Technology
OK, this is an easy one. If you have an alarm clock or use your cell phone as your alarm - put it across the room so you have to get up to get it when it goes up. The simple act of actually getting up and getting out of bed is much more powerful than staying in bed and hitting the snooze button. Try it. It works.
3.) Schedule Important Appointments of Meetings Early
Another way to motivate yourself and get yourself going early is to schedule important appointments or meetings early in the day. This is actually a secret of the most successful. They plan their days the day before and tackle their most important tasks or meetings first thing in the morning when they are fresh and at their best. This also means they have to wake early and be prepared. This secret of planning your day the day before, and doing your most important tasks first, is one of the most powerful of high performers. Give it shot - it will change your life.
Putting these simple hacks to work for you will make a huge difference in your productivity and success. Put them to use for you!
Recently, I was invited to attend the Fireside Entrepreneur Conference in Canada and speak at the event. I have to be honest. I did not know what to expect and I wasn't sure if this conference was really going to impress me. But, I was willing to give it a shot. Man, was I surprised.
First, the conference is held at a camp about 4 hours north of Toronto. And it is exactly what you'd expect when you here the word "camp." It is a self-contained camp on a lake where you bunk up with total strangers in cabins with no cell service or even access to electricity. The event is what I would call "Summer Camp for Entrepreneurs."
And over the course of 3 days, I was reminded of why we as entrepreneur's do what we do and of the importance of focusing on yourself and helping others. Here is are 5 Takeaway's I took from the confernce.
1.) The Power of Connecting with People Face to Face
It is amazing what happens when entrepreneurs from all walks of life get together, don’t know each other, and bunk up. You meet people of all backgrounds and walks of life, doing incredible things, and full of life and hope for the future. You also learn to deal with their snoring habits as well :)
I met some wonderful entrepreneurs and just people in general. And, it was nice to spend time with a group of like-minded people face to face - not through social media or a web-meeting or anything. It is something we should all commit to do more often.
2.) Networking and Relationships are Still the Best form of ROI
When you can truly network and make real human connections with people, you can create great, lasting relationships. I was very humbled to be able to connect with and discover business opportunities with a number of entrepreneurs at the event. In fact, I was even able to connect with and spend time with Jeffrey Haslett of CSuite Network fame and we became fast friends. We even decided to do a live podcast together for the group and share some of best thoughts on how to succeed as entrepreneurs and took questions from the audience. It was a great time and we were able to really help some people.
3.) Being Unplugged for a Weekend is Sooo Worth It
As I crashed into the cold lake water from a zipline that started 400 yards back at over 50 ft. up in a tree, I said to myself, "How nice it is to be unplugged where I cannot be reached and get to just relax and take a break. Cold-water notwithstanding, I floated in the lake for a little while looking up at the sky and the beautiful serenity of the place I was in and understood why Fireside has become such a popular event - and why they have made it invite only. Everyone would want to come! But, it is very important to schedule time to truly unplug in your life. Force yourself to do so - it will give your perspective, allow some of your best thinking to arise, and you'll even notice things that you maybe would never have see before.
4.) Opportunity is Everywhere
And I mean, everywhere! I could not believe some of the businesses people had created that were doing 6 and 7 figures and more. I have seen a lot and met a lot of entrepreneurs in unique business niches in doing the Misfit Entrepreneur, but even I was surprised at some of the niches and unique business concepts people had created. One guy had left the C-level in the corporate world and created a total system for creating and telling your story as a person and your business. He has a waiting list of clients. Another created a company that works like AirBnb for finding student housing on campuses and universities. Oh and let's not forget the marijuana millionaires (it was Canada).
My point is that, there is opportunity everywhere around all the time. Everything starts as an idea and then needs execution....but listen to your ideas as they may not be a crazy as you think. We live in the age of long-tail where even the smallest of niches that never would have survived 10-20 years ago can be a thriving enterprise for someone willing to put the time and effort in.
5.) We are So Lucky to Be Entrepreneurs
No matter who you are, you are are entrepreneur. You may not own a business (yet), but you have entrepreneurial qualities. They are innate human qualities. The ability to come up with an idea, vision or a mission, passionately take steps to make it a reality, and overcome the barriers that get in the way are all things we as humans have innately in us. We should do well to embrace them more and celebrate them. We are very lucky to have these qualities - they are what make the journey of life so exciting, frightful, and rewarding. Embrace your inner entrepreneur and make it happen!
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