There are a lot of things that have to happen to win at something. Whether it is a race, a team sport, business, winning over self and negative self-talk; one thing matters more than all others.
This one thing is the toughest part about winning. In fact, it is so tough, that most never learn it, and those that do, still struggle with it.
What is it? It is the ability to outlast. Now that may sound simple and may sound like everything you've heard before about "never giving up, never quitting, and so on;" but outlasting takes more. You can finish a race when you wanted to quit...then never race again.
Those who truly reach the top of the packet, not only have an attitude that they won't quit, but also that they will outlast until they are the last one standing. They have the will and fortitude to keep going.
I was recently reading a book that reminded me of this. The book is Redefine Impossible by James Lawrence. Now, most people may not know his name, but instead may recognize him by his nickname, "The Iron Cowboy." James is the man who created and completed the 50-50-50 challenge to raise awareness for child obesity. 50 Ironman Triathlons in 50 States in 50 days. That is a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride and full 26.2 marathon every day for 50 days.
In reading the story, I can relate to a lot as an endurance athlete, but where James goes beyond anyone I have ever seen, is in his ability to outlast. There were so many instances where he could have thrown in the towel on this thing. Not because he was tired, but literally because he could not physically walk or his feat were bleeding through his shoes. But no, he chose to find a way to finish, even it meant walking the marathon until 3 AM to only get in the car and drive to next state to get up in 3-4 hours to do it all over again.
If your life, you may not be doing a 50-50-50, but you are probably trying to succeed at something and may not be getting the results you want or any results at all. And after a while, that little voice starts saying that "this isn't worth it" "You given this X amount of time and seen no results, cut your losses, etc." If you truly believe in what you are doing and believe that it can make a difference, choose to outlast. Even if it takes years, I promise you, it will be worth it.
This can work for anything. Stick with a prospect in sales long enough to outlast the competition and you will get it. Stick with a podcast long enough and it will grow an audience - even it doesn't have hardly anyone listening for the first 6-12 months (I speak from personal experience). Don't succumb the pressure of a larger competitor trying to threaten your business and intimidate you when you know what you are doing is perfectly right. Outlast them. (I speak from experience here as well!)
Put the secret of an attitude of outlasting to work for you and like James, you will be amazed at what happens in your life.
This won't be a long post, but the message may be one of the most important you ever hear.
What makes a great leader? What do some leaders stand out from the pack? Why do people follow someone?
The answer is simple, yet so powerful. Great leaders understand that they must lead themselves before they can lead others. What does this mean? It means that you must develop the discipline to be best you can be before you can ask others to do the same.
This means leading in all areas of your life. Personal, health, wealth, business, spiritual, and so on. You must develop the consistent discipline to be the best you can possibly be in each area, then you must take it a step further. You must show the ability to execute.
You cannot ask others to do something that you have not taken the time to learn, understand, or do. It will show immediately and people will not follow you.
You must be able to show people what you are asking them to do and then help empower them to execute. In other words, you must be willing to get in the trenches.
Are you leading yourself and have created the discipline you know is needed to succeed and lead in all areas of your life? If not, pick one and be obsessed with being the best you can be. Master it. Then move on to the next, and so on.
This one thing matters most when it comes to becoming a great leader!
I saw a list of books the other day that someone put out and every one of them was what I would consider a life-changing or must-read book. I liked it so much I wanted to share them with you. If you read all 15 of these books, you will have a changed life and be on an even better path for having done so. Enjoy!
15 Books That Can Change Your Life
If you've accomplished a big goal or bucket list item, you know how it feels. It is a big achievement. And probably like me, you feel once you've done it, that you can go to even higher levels or push yourself further. Even more important are the lessons you learn in gong through the experience. I recently competed my first Half Ironman and am already am planning my second one as well as preparing to do a full. For those that don't know, a Half Ironman is a 1.25 mile swim, 56 mile bike ride, and a half marathon (13.1 miles) - 70.3 miles in total. A full Ironman is 140.6.
As I reflected on the experience, some really great lessons for life and business stood out to me and I wanted to share them with you.
Lessons Learned from My Ironman:
So there you have it. 7 very important and useful lessons for anyone on their journey to success. They work across all areas of your life, so put them to use for you!
Ok, so this post in just about the fact that if you shut your mouth and listen you will learn more, get more business, and create better relationships. All of those things will happen if you spend more time listening and park your ego (and your need to talk) aside.
This is article is about another result of shutting your mouth and listening - an even bigger more powerful secret. That secret is the incredible amount you can learn about others not just from what they say, but from their body language. People like Frank Luntz have made a whole living off of analyzing the body language of people and what it means. You can use this for all areas of your life.
Body language will give you a lot of what you need to know about how a conversation is going. What is the other person's posture? Are they leaning forward into the conversation showing interest or sitting back with their arms cross showing reservation? Are they using their hands a lot? Are they animated? This gives insight into the type of personality they have -which is you understand personalities, you will be able to relate better to them and how their mind works.
There are so many things, that if you just be quiet and observe, you will find out about others - and about yourself. It is hard not to interject and talk about yourself and your ideas, but if you can practice restraint and allow others to reveal more about who they are; you will find that you can use what you learn to have more meaningful conversations, create better relationships, and ultimately find more success.
From Misfit's "Top 10 Lessons to Thrive and Succeed" Guidebook. Click here to get a FREE copy
Another lesson that I have found most important is that it is typically not one thing that sets the highly successful apart; it is a lot of little things done just a little bit better or differently that add up to a huge advantage. And this comes back to being disciplined and consistent. Let me give you a few examples.
How can you find your "Little things?" Try these steps...
Perhaps the only limits to the human mind are those we believe in...
No matter who you are or how successful you are, you will have to deal with self-limitations. Many times they seem to come out of nowhere and cause us to doubt ourselves. Things can be going just fine or great and all of the sudden - Wham! - a negative or self-limiting thought comes into your mind.
Where do these things come from? I took me a while to figure this out, but the answer is actually straightforward. They come from your beliefs. In fact, as I went on my journey of figuring this out,
I created a formula that encapsulates it all:
Beliefs -> Emotions/Feelings -> Thoughts -> Actions -> Results
If you take out every word, but the first and the last one, you get "Beliefs = Results."
It is not our thoughts that are self-limiting, but the beliefs behind them that cause our negative thoughts that are the source of problem.
So, how do we overcome self-limiting beliefs? The answer is simple, we change our beliefs. But, as we all know, that is easier said than done.
The first step is awareness, which I hope you are experiencing now. You cannot change something unless you are aware of it.
Next, take inventory of your beliefs. Have you ever really stopped and thought about what you truly believe? What are you principles? What are your core values? Where did they come from? Did you choose them or are they just there? You'll be surprised at how many things you thought you believed, that when you think about them, you really don't. You can then start to formulate the beliefs that YOU want to have.
Lastly, we have institute a process to catch ourselves and re-direct to what we want to have. For me, I found that following a simple process of "Stop, Ask, and Choose" works best. Stop yourself when you have negative or self-limiting thought. Ask yourself what "belief" is causing it. Choose whether to keep that belief or replace it with the one you want to have.
At first, this is very awkward and you will have to stop for a minute or two to go through the exercise, but after doing it for a little while, it will start to become easier and eventually a habit.
Self-limiting beliefs are housed in the deepest recesses of our mind and are not easy to change -- but they CAN be changed. Learning to change them will change your whole life and take your potential to entirely new levels. Now get out there and Stop, Ask, and Choose!
Everywhere you go in the personal growth space these days, you hear about the importance of clarity. Just about every "guru" has their talk on this subject and how incredibly important it is.
In fact, the common theme is that you "must be crystal clear" on what you want, where you are going, and how you are going to get there - or you won't get it.
I used to subscribe to this theory as well. I used to speak about how important it is to be crystal clear in everything - until I realized it wasn't.
One day, I was retooling one of my talks which included a section on clarity. As I started to think more about the concept of being "crystal clear," I realized that on a lot of things I wasn't clear, let alone crystal clear.
I began to examine the different areas of my life and where I had had massive success and asked myself, "Was I crystal clear before I began down the road that led to that success?" It turned out, I really wasn't.
I realized one thing was consistent; a good sense of direction. I wasn't crystal clear on how I was going to get the result I desired, but I did have a direction to go, and I took the first step and took action.
As I thought about this a little more, I realized something profound. A dirty little secret that most of the so-called gurus aren't going to tell you. The truth is that no one is ever really crystal clear on things. When you start down the path to success, you may think you are, but whatever journey you are on will not go smoothly and be wrought with twists and turns. It will make you question yourself and what you thought you were clear on. And you will change things along the way. But, above all, you would still have a direction to go and that is the key element.
A lot of people get caught up in trap of the "clarity curse" where they spend of all this time looking for that crystal clarity so they can begin. And of course, they never really find it, so they don't begin.
My advice to you is to pick a direction. One in which you are confident and truly believe in with conviction, and then get started. You will figure things out along the way and things will become more clear the further along you go. In fact, if you have ever seen the Lord of the Rings or read the books, it is a perfect example of what it means to have a good direction and then find clarity along the way. Frodo didn't really have clarity on what he needed to do until very late in the journey.
Stop worrying so much about clarity because it is an illusion, especially in the beginning. Find your direction and go. You'll be amazed at how you end up succeeding in your quest.
There are a lot of things that you can do to affect your life and business, and give you a better chance to succeed. You can practice DCP, hustle, work hard and smart, build great relationships, and even have the right mindset, but there is one thing that is not necessarily in your control that has an impact on your success as well...that is timing.
You can have all of the above, but still fail because of bad timing. Just ask MySpace (if you even remember or know what it is). MySpace was essentially Facebook before Facebook. It was the right idea, but at the wrong time. The market wasn't ready yet. The same thing happened with a lot of the initial "box subscription" companies. There were numerous "Blue Apron's" and Hello Fresh's" long before those came out that failed because it wasn't yet a normal part of life.
Timing doesn't just mean market timing for a product or service, it can be timing in your business for an initiative or in your life for a meaningful change, etc.
In fact, I once lost an A-Player from my team simply because of bad timing. This person was doing a great job in the role they were in, but they knew, and we knew, that they were capable of much more. We wanted them to do much more and move into a bigger role. We had even discussed it with them in the past.
As the business grew and got to a point where the role was finally needed and we could afford it, we (my business partner and I) started putting everything together for the role and making plans to do the promotion with a big celebration, etc. We started that process 2 months before we were going to announce it to the A-Player. We had planned to do it in December going into the New Year, but we knew everything in October.
In late November, the employee came to us with his notice that he was going to leave for an executive level opportunity. We were literally a week out from promoting them and they were leaving! We did everything we could to save them. We explained our plans, the role, and how much time we had put into crafting the perfect role for them - but they had already made the commitment and given their word to the new company. On top of that, we didn't look that great, because it was after they told us that we came to them with the new role, etc.
Needless to say, they moved on and we remain friends to this day, but our poor timing cost us a great asset to our company and a great team member. We could have easily told them what were planning in October when we had done it. We may not have had all the details, but it would have made a difference to them and probably would have kept them from even taking the interview in the first place.
And that is the lesson, in life and business, there are moments of opportunity when you know the timing is right and you need to seize them - don't hesitate. Act in spite of the doubt, fear, or even complacency. Equally as important is to know when the timing isn't right for something and to table it. That doesn't mean that there won't ever be a time for it, just not now. The hardest thing to do is to see reality when you have worked really hard on something, or someone, and are emotionally invested in it. But, it will make a huge difference in your life and business if you can muster the courage to do so.
Be conscious of your timing, especially on big initiatives, and make sure to always be ready to seize the moment when it arrives.
In celebrating 100 episodes at the Misfit Entrepreneur, we poured through all of the episodes to narrow down the Top 10 Lessons we have learned from our guests on how to succeed and thrive. In fact, we created a guidebook that highlights each less and gives you a Misfit 3 of action items, resources, and hacks that you can use to implement them.
We hope you enjoy the guidebook as much as we did creating it for you!
Just click the link below to download your copy...
The Misfit Entrepreneur 100th Episode Top 10 Lessons to Thrive and Succeed
Here's to you success!
Dave and the Misfit Entrepreneur Team
Click Below to Join Misfit Nation and Get Your Free Copy of "The Top 10 Lessons to Thrive and Succeed!"
Follow Misfit on Facebook!