Misfit Entrepreneur January 2025 - 439: Build a Thriving Business & Marriage, Robert & Kay Lee Fukui’s Strategies for Entrepreneurs

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Dave Lukas Chats with Robert and Kay Lee Fukui

439: Build a Thriving Business & Marriage, Robert & Kay Lee Fukui’s Strategies for Entrepreneurs

This week’s Misfit Entrepreneurs are Robert and Kay Fukui. Robert and Kay are former fortune 500 standouts, who saw an opportunity to help married entrepreneurs and business owners create harmony between the rigorous demands of building a business and maintaining a healthy, happy thriving marriage.

Their company, Couples by Design teaches entrepreneurs and business owners and their spouses how have it all – a thriving business and marriage by helping them better understand themselves, each other, and how to support each other in business and at home.

We all know the challenges of being responsible for a business and working to maintain a good environment at home, but the stats don’t lie. Some estimates suggest that up to 48% entrepreneurs get divorced. That is way too high and a big problem, because speaking from experience, it is a lot easier to succeed as an entrepreneur, when you have good support at home from your spouse. So, I had to have Robert and Kay on the show to share how you can thrive in this area of your life.

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Show Notes

Robert grew up in a third-generation entrepreneurial family where his dad worked six days a week. Because his father was rarely home and finances were still tight, he realized that simply working more hours doesn’t automatically lead to better financial outcomes or a happier life. He also saw in the corporate world how many high-achievers sacrificed their health and family in pursuit of career success—and decided he wanted to do things differently.

Kay Lee’s father was a pastor, which, much like running a business, meant long hours and demands that left little family time. Both she and Robert experienced firsthand how a strong work ethic—without proper boundaries—can strain relationships. Later, as Robert embarked on a corporate career (starting with Coca-Cola and then pharmaceuticals), he noticed how some leaders managed to balance a successful career with quality family life. This inspired him to figure out how to combine business success with strong personal relationships.

When Robert began consulting for business owners, he kept hearing the same frustrations about strained marriages and family life. Seeing the “elephant in the room” that nobody seemed to address—how to run a business without sacrificing marriage—they launched Couples by Design. Together, they now help married entrepreneurs and business owners create harmony between the demands of building a business and maintaining a thriving marriage.

What are the Core Principles of Couples by Design with Regard to Balancing Business and Home Life?

Shared Vision and Goals
Begin by asking what your ideal life looks like in 10, 20, or 30 years.
Identify ways to live out aspects of that vision now (e.g., taking small staycations if you can’t afford bigger trips, making quality time even in busy seasons).
Define what “balance” or “harmony” means for you as a couple—understand it’s measured by the quality of time, not necessarily the number of hours.
Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing
Create clear boundaries for when you’ll disconnect from work so you can be fully present at home.
Realize that being “busy” is not always being “productive.” Decide on the important tasks and stick to them.
Focus on Margin Over Volume
Instead of chasing more sales or hours, look for ways to increase profitability and efficiency.
Identify your “zone of genius”—the tasks you alone can do that bring the greatest returns.

What is the Number-One Area Entrepreneurs and Their Spouses Struggle with, and Why?

Money and Pricing
- Many businesses underprice their products/services, which leads to tight finances and added stress at home.
- Underpricing can also deter the next generation from wanting to continue the business.
Resolving Conflict
- Couples often don’t learn how to communicate about disagreements productively.
- Small misunderstandings—especially around the business—can spiral into bigger issues at home if not addressed quickly and empathetically.

How Can Couples Better Resolve Conflict Once the Doom Loop of Arguing Starts?

Ask, “What Do You Need?”
Determine if your spouse needs empathy (to be heard) or a problem solved.
Men, in general, tend to offer solutions; women often want to be heard first. Clarifying this upfront helps avoid misunderstandings.
Acknowledge Triggers
Childhood experiences can shape how each partner interprets criticism or questions.
Discuss these triggers openly to have more empathy and avoid taking things personally.

What Are Other Common Pitfalls for Married Couples in Business?

Difficulty Making Decisions Together
When spouses can’t agree, they often get stuck, which stalls business growth and strains the marriage.
Making a decision with both parties’ buy-in ensures unity—if it doesn’t work out, you’ll fix it together without blame.
Misalignment of Roles and Strengths
Each spouse should operate in their natural skill set (e.g., creative tasks vs. bookkeeping) rather than forcing the other into an ill-fitting role.
Use assessments (like DISC) to identify strengths and assign responsibilities accordingly.

How Does Mindset and Conditioning Factor into All of This?

Positive Assumptions
Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming negative intent.
Look for the good they do instead of focusing on small annoyances.
Understanding Childhood Conditioning
Recognize how past experiences—especially from family upbringing—shape current responses in marriage and business.
Share these background stories so each partner better understands the other’s triggers and reactions.

What Are Some of the Best Daily Habits Couples Should Practice?

Start the Day Slowly and Connect
Spend quality time—whether it’s 5 minutes or 15—talking, praying, or just checking in.
Rushing first thing in the morning adds stress and impairs clear thinking.
Weekly Meetings and Date Nights
Set a regular time (e.g., Monday at 3:30) to sync calendars, share finances, review business goals, and plan quality time.
Regularly schedule date nights or personal outings to reconnect outside of work.

What Are the Advantages of Being Married and Running a Business Together?

Shared Motivation and Trust
You both ultimately want the same big-picture success; no one has your back like your spouse.
Collaboration is easier when there’s deep trust and knowledge of each other’s strengths.
Complementary Skill Sets
Many spouses have opposite talents—one is detailed, the other creative—and this synergy leads to better ideas and solutions.
Working in each other’s “zone of genius” can produce results greater than either could achieve alone.

What Advice Would You Give to New Entrepreneur Couples Starting Out?

Avoid the “Busy” Trap
Being constantly busy doesn’t always equal productivity or progress. Audit your time to focus on high-impact tasks.
Don’t be afraid to delegate or seek help rather than try to do it all.
Seek Mentors and Community
Find others who can advise or coach you through startup challenges.
People are often more willing to help than you think—ask for guidance early on.

Best Quote

Wait a second. We can fix this. We’re all achievers driven to solve problems—so why don’t we fix this issue (finding harmony between a thriving business and a thriving marriage)?

Set boundaries. Decide when you’ll disconnect from work devices and be fully present with each other.

Don’t go to bed angry. Resolve issues—or at least agree to pause them on good terms—before the day ends.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Much of what couples argue about is minor in the long run; focus on the bigger picture and each other’s well-being.

(Bonus) Think Margin, Not Volume. Whether it’s time or money, look for ways to create more space and profitability rather than simply chasing more.

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